Chacos, Birkenstocks or Wal-mart? Identity and Social Class

Don't judge a man until you've walked two moons in his moccasins (in this case, second-hand sandals)

Months ago, in the middle of August, I began the first week of my program in Chicago. I remember the week of orientation was full of extreme emotions; the yearning to make a good impression, both grief and hope as we discussed global problems and solutions, and the ever shifting tide between excitement and anxiety. As I met 100+ young people from all over the country, both alumni who completed their year of service and newbies just beginning, I was eager to connect.

Yet, there was something that made connecting difficult. It wasn't my occasional off-key singing or not knowing any song lyrics or that I sometimes chew with my mouth open (gross, I know). Instead, this is something deeper that became part of my identity in childhood.

It is identifying as poor, as a member of the lower class.

I have little shame in the financial circumstances of my childhood, although my parents might. I was never hungry; food stamps and free lunches at school gave me additional food security. My parents always paid the electric, heat and even the cable bill on time. I had state provided healthcare and my parents somehow had the money to pay for orthodontics. We even had time and money to travel which is truly a great privilege.

However, from an early age, there were times I felt abnormal based on my circumstances. During back-to-school shopping I was allowed to buy 3 new outfits so I wore the same clothes often. There was the need to make my ripped jeans 'cool' instead of just old and ratty and that year when we all shared the Christmas present of new furniture.

None of these things are meant to invoke sympathy and in countless ways I had an amazing childhood full of love, support and, yes, adequate material possessions and security. Nevertheless, I have had some painful experiences that others my age may not be able to relate to, especially young adults from different financial backgrounds.

Today, I am a college graduate, have a closet full of clothes and traveled to Europe; all characteristics more common to the middle or upper class than working class. Yet, in many ways, I still feel like that girl labeled as 'poor'. They call economic class socioeconomic status because class is not solely based on income but on the social circles and culture a person relates to. After graduating college, I earned enough money to be more financially comfortable than my childhood; yet I still carry the habits and attitudes from my poor background. I love shopping at thrift stores, taking pride in finding name brand clothes for less and spending my money wisely. I know that the unexpected happens so I made sure to have decent amount in savings and good credit score by my early 20s.

Unfortunately, it is just not good habits that I carry with me. There is also a jealousy at others' unearned advantages and an anger at their blindness (ignoring the log in my own eye of my unearned advantages and blindness). In my teenage years, as I learned more of the injustices in society and the policies that keep the poor disadvantaged, my emotions oscillated between heartbreak and rage. I felt strong emotions at the inequality of our broken world and often released this energy towards unsuspecting people of the middle and upper class. At that time, I would rant when anyone complained about emptying the dishwasher because that had water, and dishes and a dishwasher! Probably a matching set of dishes from Ikea! So much more than so many!

Since then, I have pretty much come to terms with the ugliness inside myself that unfairly classifies people due to social class. I see the world in more shades of gray than in black and white and I know it is unfair to stereotype someone and blame them for societal ills.

Still, subconsciously, I have feelings of being unable relate to people who are of a different economic class. It seems that Young Adults in Global Mission has a uniform of expensive sandals, iPhone 7s and a private education that I did not know about and can only partially relate to.

It sounds materialistic and image conscious yet objects are the easy things to compare. It is harder to admit that when I hear of my friend with a near perfect smile lamenting over a future with braces, I shamefully think of my mother's rotting teeth and her need for serious dental work. Or when my friends share stories of their rough days in college, I think of the semester I worked 40+ hours during the weekends and failed half my classes.

By many standards of American society, I have the security, finances, education, and access to healthcare that sets me above the poverty class. Living my life here, I have an even greater privilege of wealth, security and personal freedom. It seems like a contradiction that I both have tremendous amount of privilege and identify with the lower class, yet it is the truth. Internalizing the message that I am part of the working class and it developing in my identity is just one of the many complexities surrounding poverty.

I had a brand new Barbie bike WITH tassels for my 5th birthday!! Such privilege!

Currently, Christians are in the season of Lent, or Cuaresma in Spanish. It is a time of year is for acknowledging the sinfulness and brokenness of both ourselves and of our society. The focus is on repentance - a turning away from wickedness - and how a relationship with Jesus the Christ is necessary leave our old selves behind.

This Lent, I want to take you on a journey with one of the greatest societal sins: poverty. The next four weeks I will be sharing the poverty here I see in Argentina, the complexity of our attitudes toward the poor and the role of social institutions such as churches.

Undoubtedly, people from the United States are very generous in helping the poor. I am impressed with the speed and effort many undertake to donate food, water, and money to areas affected by hurricanes, tornadoes and other natural disasters. Numerous people regularly give their time and energy to helping the needy. On the other hand, Americans also have many arguments as to why they should not help the poor. People do not support policies that raise people out of poverty and demonize the lowest in society, blaming poverty on moral degradation of the individuals.

I want to take a walk down this painful, broken path. Where complexities and false information thrive; where people are put against each other in the evilness of Right vs Left and the promise that political parties or religious institutions offer the absolute solutions. I want to talk about poverty and morality in an open, honest space where right vs wrong is more important.

Feeling uncomfortable? Ashamed? That's natural! Please read next week's blog about why it is so hard to talk about poverty.

As always, thank you for reading and for your willingness to stretch your mind.

Please feel free to email me or comment (I will know how to respond this time haha) if you want to chat more. See you all next week!